Posted on May 13, 2018
Cars & Bombs & VHS
The Awkward Legacy of Sana’a Mehaidli
Sana’a Mehaidli was just 16 years old in 1985 when she drove her car packed with explosives into an Israeli army convoy in Lebanon. She was a member of the Syrian Social Nationalist Party and died willingly in their name. Sana’a is widely regarded as the first female suicide bomber and came to be remembered as The Bride Of The South. Like most militants and penniless party magicians, she left behind a legacy that is actually quite sad, chilling and stupid.
Most people probably have no idea why the SSNP were so pissed off with everybody. Basically their 80 year old political campaign had been fought on land-grabbing ideology and a Zionist paranoia. Like every extremist organization on Earth, their actual manifesto is so fucking boring that people simply tune out rather than try to keep up. And like every extremist organization on Earth, the SSNP lacks a crucial sense of humour. No one wants to listen to a muddled, earnest lecture about historical land rights when we now have Spotify and Tinder. Modern extremists have learnt to grab our attention in a way that The West has not. This, in essence, is the awkward legacy of Sana’a Mehaidli. Read More
Posted on March 13, 2018
No Cure For Classic Rock
It’s not often that you get diagnosed with cancer and it is quite absolutely alarming. It is also by equal degrees frightening, frustrating, disorientating, debilitating, alienating and completely all-consuming. Suddenly and without warning nothing else seems to matter. Nothing, that is, except for the unconditional love and support shown by a few close friends who will forever remain in our hearts. So happy New Year to me and boo-fucking-hoo…
Luckily cancer offers you the opportunity to lie in a hospital bed and ponder the evil intricacies of this fragile universe. Life indeed is unfair because I have a tumour the size of a small planet and the other guy hasn’t. Bastard. How does that other guy sleep at night? Why do the gods favour him and not me? What’s so special about that guy anyway? Can we swap places? I’ve learnt a lot about myself during this uncomfortable and undignified ordeal. I’ve learnt that I fucking love intravenous pain killers. I’ve learnt that you can smoke on the balcony in Greek hospitals. I’ve learnt that cancer need not be an awkward conversational car crash. But the most important thing I’ve learnt is that Led Zeppelin are never going to reform. Read More
Posted on October 29, 2017
Fuck The Youth!
Everybody under the age of 32 is basically useless. In fact you could remove the Youth from the planet entirely and not many people would either notice or care. Admittedly some parents might wake up to discover they have more food in the fridge and a spare bedroom they can now rent out on Airbnb. Some might inhale deeply and marvel at the sudden surplus of oxygen. And the Youth? The Youth can stay frozen and dispossessed in deep space until the rest of us can think of something better to do with them.
Undoubtedly we’re getting older. We’re getting crankier and shorter of fuse – less tolerant and less interested in the self-centred bullshit spouted by Generation Dolt. Sometimes it feels as if sharkinfestedwaters has become less of a photographic collective and more of an underfunded drop-in centre for the needy and the vacuous. I think I’ve become allergic to Youth. Read More