Posted on September 15, 2016
So beheading is back in the news after a few centuries’ absence. How practical. How efficient. How very Ikea. It must be re-assuring for some people to know that the old ways really were the best. You simply don’t need nuclear submarine fleets and stealth technology when you own a big fucking knife. It’s not often that we’re inspired by medieval murder techniques at Shark Infested Waters, but anyone who cannot understand the undiluted impact of public decapitation needs to be hot-wired into the real world. There is no remote control anymore. You don’t like it? Tough. Switch channels? Tough. You going to be all grown up now and negotiate around a table in the desert? Tough. We’ve got a foreign aid worker in an orange jumpsuit and you’re all going to watch. We’ll make it real easy for y’all and even send over the fucking TV schedule. Got it? Good.